i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize