those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize