Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
