My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
