Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
