i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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