We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
