were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
