remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
