so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
