do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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