Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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