also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
