Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
