The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
