he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
