I want to stick my p in your. b.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
