I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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