yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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