Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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