Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
