I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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