I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
