I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
