How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
