first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
