I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
They have beer where we have blood.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
