Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize