Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
