if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
