was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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