I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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