well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
