it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I want a musical about memes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
