The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
