so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
