so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
