i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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