All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
