Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
