so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
