and next time when you feel me up, do it right
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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