Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
