guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
