But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
