I'm really into asian looking animals
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
NoShamevember. You game?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
