thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
