If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
