Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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