You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
