Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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