grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
