Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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