I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize