That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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