This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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