You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
