I've blown a few things in my day
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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