let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
