I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
