i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
